Mademoiselle flea cops a mention...

The upside of life in the flash-bulb

Taj Burrow won the Quiksilver Pro early Friday afternoon. Stab threw his victory party (well, truth be told it was more a case of us riding the goodwill and credit limit of Billies and VZ) late Friday afternoon. At the new and totally fab Komune hotel in Coolangatta. There was booze and there were babes and music. There were ex-world champs and there was a current world champ (I heard) and there was probably underage drinking and maybe less than totally healthy sex (emotionally). It was that kind of party. And bullshit.

Things I remember:

Shaun Wright’s (from Creatures of Leisure) fiancé who looks exactly like a movie star or television star that I still can’t place. She said maybe Kate Hudson or Dharma (from Dharma and Greg). I know it is neither of those. She told me I look like Tom Green and I became visibly upset.

Asher Pacey’s lovely wife hand rolling a cigarette for me while the wind howled and a giant umbrella speared the façade of the Komune hotel. She said her name was Collie and I told her I’d never forget it. Asher is a lucky man. And totally so is Shaun Wright. Three British girls who were on vacation, I believe, and who had hideous accents. They claimed to have all met in Sydney and have been traveling together ever since and were best friends. They are fans of Taj Burrow. Who cares?

The CEO of Billabong’s nice firm handshake.

Taj Burrow showing up in a white limo.

Chris Cote recalling good and funny stories about Hawaii.

A Brazilian waitstaff so delightful and cute.

Luke Stedman throwing his head back and laughing when asked if he scores chicks because he is a Corona model.

Jordy Smith on the dance floor with the babes. Looking just right and totally wild. Like, out of control.

Craig Anderson standing in a corner and making eyes at a tall brunette wearing only a singlet and heels. Maybe a skirt too.

Koby Abberton sitting on a couch surrounded by cool looking people looking both disinterested and cool.

Johnny Gannon’s nice firm handshake.

Talking about the Nazi films of Leni Riefenstahl with a blonde German filmmaker who now lives in Bondi. She had the most perfect skin ever. Tanned to a golden brown. And super piercing hazel eyes. Her friend was a German surgeon who also lives in Bondi. I wish I had talked to him about the medical work of Josef Mengele.

Chris Binns yelling in my ear “Who on God’s green earth is Chris Binns, ya cunt?” And then hugging me and handing me a drink.

Jarrad Howse’s striking smile. The teeth line up so well!

A girl from California who was too not happy because she wanted to be in heels but was accidentally in Converse. Taj Burrow being perpetually surrounded by gorgeous women of varying skin tones and, if I remember, ethnicity.

Matt Wilkinson dancing a little bit and singing a Willy Nelson song at the top of his lungs.

Heat emanating from the dance floor. From Jordy Smith.

People lined up ten deep at the bar.

People buying drinks for strangers.

People grabbing drinks out of strangers’ hands and consuming.

A Phoenix song being spun by a kind DJ.

Luke Egan’s specs.

Kelly Slater waltzing through with a large contingent who all looked very purposeful.

A girl who said her name was Flea and who will be studying fashion at Parsons in Paris either this year or next.

Brodie Carr telling me that “This party is the best party ever thrown ever. Stab is so cool and is the only magazine I read. Look at all the girls you guys draw? Look how hot everyone is? So…what do you guys call it?…stylish? Coquetish? I wish I knew how to dress. I wish I was editor of Stab instead of CEO of the ASP.”

Things I don’t remember:

Mick Fanning showing up.

Who Shaun Wright’s fiancé looks like.

If the bland British girls were on vacation.

If the tall brunette had on a skirt.

Who Chris Binns is.

If the perpetually gorgeous women surrounding Taj were of varying ethnicity.

When Flea will be studying at Parsons.

Brodie Carr wishing he was the editor of Stab. - Charlie Smith